In Their Own World

This picture is dreamy and beautiful!

Tainted Blood

I moved into a new neighborhood early this year. Me, my partner and the furry kids thought a bigger house would be good for us and furthermore, the place is nearer to my workplace. So the new neighborhood is filled with young yuppies or family so they do have Joint Management Board to look after the place like cleanliness and safety. I guess you signed up to all of these when you signed the dotted line.

Well one day I received this flyer inviting the residents to join for a blood donation drive to help the National Blood Bank restock their blood supply. Sounds noble indeed. But in order to donate blood you must fulfilled few conditions. First, you have not stayed in Europe and Great Britain in the year 1980 something up to 1990 something (presumably because of the mad cow syndrome). Secondly, you are not tested positive for HIV and Hepatitis. Thirdly, you are not cancer patient, has not undergone chemotherapy for at least one year. There are few more of this pre – qualifying conditions that I can’t remember. But I guess the one that many people do not know of, even in Malaysia, is that if you had sex with men (or a man), protected or unprotected, you are not allowed to donate blood.

I have never donated blood in my life. I did not know of this ban until recently when I was living in UK. But to be fair, I used to be a scrawny kid so my blood was unwanted. The main reason why the blood bank refuse to receive blood from MSM (men who have sex with men) regardless whether they are (were?) gay or bisexual is that there is an increased risk of HIV infection.

I guess that is valid reason but I do wonder in the case of Malaysia, if you are not honest with your sexuality, would you accept the fact that your blood is ‘tainted’?  

I don’t think I ever discussed this issue with my friends so I am not very sure of their level of awareness. There was an instant in the past which I barely can recall there might be one or two of my friends did donate some blood light years before. I can’t be very sure. Gay lobbyists everywhere (not Malaysia, as far as I know of) have pushed for this embargo to be lifted. They did succeed of doing that in the UK but with limited success. Homosexual men can only donate blood if they have not have sex with other men for at least 10 years.

Yes, I do repeat, 10 fucking years!

Excuse me, 10 NO fucking years!

I found that hilarious. I have not yet met these people alive or even dead. There are few of my friends that might be reaching that time target (hahaha!). Really the only gay people that do not have sex or fellatio or some form of sexual excitement are geriatrics. For god sakes, 67 – year old Calvin Klein is still snogging (hot) Nick Gruber in the living daylight. Not to mentioned the elderly gentleman Mr. Armani himself was recently seen with seriously strapping man at undisclosed location.

I seriously think that the health authorities need to be serious about lifting this ban. The decision point should be a yes or no, not in between. Putting caveat or condition upon a condition is plain insulting. I read (or watch?) some stories somewhere about painting a scenario whereby a boyfriend might need to get immediate blood transfusion and it happens that he is of special blood type and it is also the happens that the partner or friend of the boyfriend have the same blood type but he cannot donate because he fucks men. Sad.

So the message is be aware of the things you want to do especially donating bodily fluids to charity (and I do not mean ‘donating’ ‘bodily fluid’ to a ‘charity’). Get educated about the subject matter and do whatever you preach.

Bi Like Who?

I have been trying to write for quite sometime. It seems that I have a finite amount of creative juices available for writing and it took a long time to replenish itself. What a bummer! Since most of time I have been focussing on my other writing job (which actually pays the bills), this blog has become a neglected child. But I told myself that I will not neglect my blog anymore. I know my blog is not that interesting because of the lack of the pictures, exotic escapades, (dirty) description of sexual conquests or my lack of interest in local entertainment scene, but anyhow I managed. My blog is not for that.

I met up with one of my good friends for dinner. I was craving a good ol’ bloody steak (BTW, I love my steak to be medium, slightly on the raw side, well done steak tastes like rubber) and I dragged him along.  So after the usual (compulsory) chat about work, I moved on another topic. This about this boy he has been seeing (or toying more like it). I known this boy he’s seeing quite a while ago but in a whole different circumstances (not in a sexual manner).  So I know my friend here has not get a nookie since the last day I can wear a tight jeans. 

He mentioned that the relationship is going okay (not that he has any reference to that and also means they haven’t get it ‘on’ yet) but he knew there is one single contentious issue wedging between him and this boy. He knows that the boy knows he still like to see beautiful girls (boobs and all of that). He thinks that the boy thinks that is a sign of ‘unfaithfulness’. The boy could not handle the meandering thoughts.

So I said ‘pick a side now’

And the most convenient of answer came out. ‘I can’t decide’

And I replied ‘clearly’

The dinner ended and we said goodbye to each other. I just cannot figure this bisexuality thing out. Some says that bisexuality is just the last stop to complete homoville but I like to digress. Some people dabbled with homosexuality during their younger years, will that make them a lifetime bisexual?  Maybe they just can’t get enough, maybe they just being greedy.  I met few self proclaimed bisexuals but honestly, I just don’t know want to make out of that information.  As I said before, make up your mind!

The Calling

I found myself a little like of a lost child these days. Not physically but more spiritually and mentally.

It has been almost a year since I’m back to Malaysia and I did not regret leaving UK. With all the cuts made across the board, UK will remain in recession for the foreseeable future.

I have encountered serious setbacks in my professional life now but I guess that is part and parcel of the things I have signed on for. So I have been looking for other venues for me to be able to realise my potential. First, I’ve sign up for a volunteer scheme for teaching in Malaysian schools; which will be a major cut to my monthly earning. Looking for a new job is still is an option but my qualifications will be seen to be a major hurdle.

I can’t help to wonder what exactly has been holding me back?

Why I keep on whining but never take stock to change?

Clearly there is no straight answer. I am still hoping that my current organisation will be a little bit accommodative towards their staff. Surely they understand that this type of organisation requires more than yearly results but emphasis equal importance on the building tacit knowledge and processes. Here I go again, whining about something that I can change.

Seriously, buck up and MOVE ON!

One Very Feverish Transition

I have never forgotten how fast – paced KL is where driving is the only means of getting around and Malaysian Hospitality is a thing of the past once you hit that accelerator. Still, I found the quality of the people is still commendable, people do smile, make friendly (sometimes offensive) banter and offer you help when you need it. While I found these qualities to be universal in nature whenever you are, what can we offer more?

Should we infect other people with simple kindness by simply paying it forward?

The second thing, getting on KL social scene is really tough. I love sitting down, listening to people singing against dim back light and muted sound of traffic. But, if you are to bump into a person or group of people that you used to hang out with light years ago, I can assure you it would be embarrassing if you can’t recall any of their names. And it is equally embarrassing if you pretend not to know them but they caught you glancing at them. At that point you can choose to continue to enjoy the show or drag yourself out of the bar.

So what do we do now?

I found it extremely empowering when so many of red – blooded Malaysian males are declaring them selves to be ‘out and proud’ as token of support to ‘It Can Only Gets Better’ campaign. Surely, Tyler Clementi’s death would not be in vain since the objective is not to scorn any homophobic – related bullying or unfortunate incidents but continuously to spread the word that life can only get better if we continue to persevere.

Great things come from the smallest act of kindness.

Happy New Years – All in One Go

I guess happy New Year wish is in order, therefore Happy (Chinese) New Year 2011. May the year bring you good luck and blessings.

For the past months, proceeding my departure from UK, I have been running around like headless chicken, alas the relative quietness of my cyber space. My partner and I have moved to our new house after almost (a record time) renovation period of 3 weeks. I got my dream walk in wardrobe where my shoes and clothes found their new home for many years to come. I got my dream kitchen where all my gadgets are neatly attached to their respective place. My partner is now actually like being in the kitchen for a change. We just had a house warming party last weekend and (most) of my friends came over, it was fun.

Hold your breath, I actually enjoy coming back to work in Malaysia, my workplace is now much nearer to my new house. And because of that, I am less stressful when I get to and fro work.

Every day is a beautiful day in Malaysia. UK will not be missed. Hahaha!

Coming Home

Finally, I am home. I have been back on Malaysian shore for a week now. I have to be honest, I actually did not feel sad of leaving Belfast but I did feel sad leaving the house that has been kind to me for the past three years. Being homeless was not fun. And when I saw the Malaysian land from the plane, I was experiencing mix feeling at that time (as pointed by the couple from Southampton sitting next to me), I felt like running out of the plane and kiss the tarmac, literally. And I have never been happier when I saw my significant other’s face (and his best friend) at that arrival hall as now I know I am back for good (and alive too, to boot).

Getting around Malaysian time is much harder now probably because of the accumulated sleep debt over the past few months while I was writing my thesis. I had only 4 hours sleep for the first five days, staying up on a normal working day will certainly be a challenge. But the first order of the day was to get myself a new phone since I have accidentally shipped my phone’s charger along with 56 other boxes on a liner. Anyhow, to those who know me well, my rate of phone change out is once in five years (the growth rate of any moss is much higher than this).

Getting back in touch with my friends after all these years was particularly challenging since I only meet them once a year and never all of them in one sitting. Many of them still keep my 10 – year old number but equally many of them didn’t keep it too. So I will only put the effort to find them when I accidentally meet them somewhere in the future.

My big project has not yet begins since the developer had a scuff with the local authorities. Gone the dream of moving into the new home and hey presto, the agonising two months wait of getting the keys. I am now looking at revised moving in date of January 2011, but my ship load will have to get into the house by next month because I don’t have any space for all of my stuff (and shoes) in our current home.

I am so excited to stay home and get back to work and go to late night show by my dearest mommy in a jazz club (which I don’t know exactly the location but I will find out later). I noticed that I am getting extremely polite to people these days, I said thank you repetitiously everytime I meet new people and I don't swear so often to other driver now while I am on the road. I hope I still have that short fuse temper somewhere because that will become extremely handy after I am back to work.

I have never been happier.